Searching for Schools

As you begin exploring schools for your child, you begin to realize that you have dozens of options. And they are all a little different. It's rather bewildering looking at all these websites, especially if you have never visited a private school before. They are all so different. How can you ever decide which one is best for your daughter? Start with a very basic strategy, a game plan, if you will. Let's look at what really matters when it comes to choosing a private school for your child.

Your requirements

Start with your requirements. Your requirements trump everything. So have a family discussion. Be relaxed and open-minded because your requirements as a parent will be different from your daughter's. You are thinking about the best educational experience. She's thinking about her life and her friends and the reality that she will have a whole new situation to deal with. That's scary for a young person. But you can make it an adventure and get her to buy into going to private school if you are patient, informative, and, above all, a listener. Dictating your child will probably get you nowhere in a hurry.

So, what's really important? Ponder these questions and then develop some answers after having that family discussion.

1. Are you looking for a traditional college prep school experience or something else?
2. Is your religion a major determining factor?
3. What about sports? Arts programs? Extracurricular activities?

What about a school such as Midland School in Los Olivos,

Approximately twenty private schools are very competitive as far as admissions are concerned. Think of these schools as you think of the Ivy League colleges if you will. Everybody wants to go to these highly competitive private schools, just like everybody supposedly wants to go to Harvard or Princeton. Now, let's be very clear about something: these are great schools. Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that these schools receive many more applications than they have places for. The young men and women who do get into these top private schools are very talented, academically gifted, and so on. Should you be upset if your son or daughter doesn't get into one of these schools? Not at all, and here's why.

Fit trumps selectiveness.

The right school for your child is the one that suits your needs and his needs best. Fit trumps just about every other consideration. How do you get the fit right? You do that by actually visiting the school. It is always a good idea to visit schools while classes are in session. If at all possible, arrange an overnight when your child is considering a boarding school. Then your child can truly sample what the school offers, as this short video from Proctor Academy illustrates.

Now I can hear you thinking to yourself that the videos and the Zoom calls you had with the admissions office were so wonderful that the

Most of us parents are fairly adept at tackling the various projects which life seems to put in front of us. Whether finding an apartment or purchasing a home or dealing with medical issues or writing a will, we all do our research, sift through the various options and make our choice. That's a pretty standard modus operandi, right? Well, obviously I have simplified things a bit because I left out the consultation we all had with experts in just about every case. The doctors explained the choices we had for the medical issues and prescribed a course of treatment. Our trusted attorney reviewed the lease agreements and purchase agreements for our real estate transactions so that we didn't run into problems in the months and years ahead. We just used those experts as a matter of course.

This video is a bit dramatic but it makes my point: you need expert help choosing a private school just as you need expert help for other major decisions.

But we don't need any experts to help us choose the right private school for our child, do we? We can do all this ourselves, right? Wrong! I know because we thought we could choose the right school for our very talented eldest daughter who had the perfect academic transcripts, sports, and extracurricular activities. This would be a cakewalk. Just visit a couple of schools, apply and that

This step in your school search process comes after you have narrowed down the list of schools which you are looking at. When you begin comparing schools on your short list, review what is being taught and how it is being taught. Instruction goes to the heart of what private schools are really all about. That is the main reason private schools exist. This is why we send our children to private school. We want certain subjects taught. More importantly, we want them taught in a certain way.

What we want our children taught generally exceeds any minimum requirements. The state department of department will require every school under its jurisdiction to meet certain minimum requirements. That is a given. For example, a high school student must receive a certain number of credits in English and mathematics in order to graduate. Private schools typically outpace any minimums specified by the state department of education.

Against this backdrop, take time to review the courses which are offered in the schools on your short list. Do these courses match your objectives and requirements? Do they offer the depth and intensity which you want your child to have? For example, Shakespeare is taught in many public high school English courses. Typically one play will be covered in an academic year. By contrast a private school English class will read two or three Shakespeare plays in a year. Because private school classes are small and the students focused on their academic work,

When you begin comparing schools on your shortlist, it is important to at least be aware of certain important aspects of the school and its operation. While you can certainly tell whether a school is well-run just by visiting it and observing the condition of the grounds and facilities, it is worth asking a few detailed questions. The answers to these questions can be found online, as a rule, so explore the school's website thoroughly before asking the admissions staff.

How long has the head of school/principal been in office?

This question speaks to the stability of the school. If the headmaster or headmistress (also called head and occasionally director) has been there for a couple of years, that's a good sign. Private school heads will stay forever if they are doing a good job and the trustees are satisfied with his job performance. Nowadays a private school head is the de facto CEO of the school. But his major responsibility is going to be in the area of fundraising. Public relations is another part of his brief.

If the door to the headmaster's office has become a revolving one with several heads coming and going over a period of a few years, you might want to find out why they didn't stay. Most private schools conduct national searches for a head of school and involve the school community in the process. So it would be unusual for a school to get the fit wrong.

Is there a