Opinion

The other day I heard about a father bemoaning the fact that his nineteen-year-old son was a mess. The gist of this father's complaint was that he had done so much for his child but nothing seemed to be appreciated. I totally understand the complexities and pitfalls of raising children in the 21st century. It is a scary, very different world from the one I was raised in back in the 50s and 60s, for sure. It is a much different world from where we raised our four children. And, yes, there were times - not many - when I was guilty of being a velcro or helicopter parent. I couldn't bear to see my children fail or make the mistakes I made. Unfortunately, that strategy never produced the results I was expecting.

With all this in mind, let's examine what happens when parents over-indulge and over-protect their children.

What do the terms "velcro" and "helicopter" parents mean?

The term "velcro parent" describes the kind of parent who sticks close to his child to protect him. The "helicopter parent" is constantly hovering around her child to protect him. Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines a helicopter parent as "a parent who is overly involved in the life of his or her child". While there is no "velcro parent" entry, one can only assume that it will not be long before there is.

Velcro and helicopter parents have their children's best interests at heart. At least, that's how I remember rationalizing my

If you have children in private school, then you are most likely looking at three months, perhaps even longer, which you must fill with activities of one kind or another during the long summer break. Your children are accustomed to structure during the other nine months of the year. It is a good idea to plan their vacation months. The structure will be there, just much more flexible and adaptable to the needs of the day. Let's look at some of your options for making summer a special time for both you and your children.

Young Children (ages 4-10)

Most schools offer summer sessions. Depending on its resources a school may offer all-day sessions or just a long morning session running from approximately 9 until 1. If the school has had a summer session for several years, it probably has worked out most of the kinks. But keep an eye out for the quality of each activity. Is the school merely providing glorified babysitting or are the activities well-planned, well-organized, and well-supervised by qualified personnel?

This video offers a glimpse at a summer camp and its programs.

The advantage of sending a young child to a summer session at her school is that she knows just about everybody anyway. Even more important for your wee one is that the daily routine is similar to what she is already comfortable with. My biggest concern with

Keeping your child's medical and academic records organized and easily referenced is an important task every parent must undertake. Here's why.

You and I have to keep certain records safe yet available for easy reference. Important papers such as tax returns, wills, deeds, titles, diplomas and certificates prove ownership and achievement. Many of these documents are originals which is all the more reason to keep them in a safe place and to keep them organized. You probably do not have to refer to them very often but you know where to find them when you need them.

The same thing applies to your child's records. There will be many times when you will have to furnish proof that your child has been immunized against certain diseases. Aptitude and other academic testing results are also important papers to keep on files. Here's how to organize your child's important papers so that you won't be missing the documentation you will need to support her application to nursery school, primary school, high school, and college.

Medical and Health Records

Keep records of all immunizations, test results and prescriptions. Why? Because you will be required to provide proof of immunizations as part of your child's medical record when you apply to private school at any level. Schools need to know about allergies your child has so that they know what action to take if and when she has an allergic reaction to something. Ditto with any medications which your child takes. If

As you begin to prepare your middle schooler for the prep school admissions process, be sure to take advantage of the long summer vacation. It offers the time you need to do several things including remediating learning gaps, taking enrichment courses and travel, and, of course, reading.

For remediating learning gaps

Your child may have straight A's in English but struggle to achieve a B in Math. While one or two B's won't be a deal-breaker at some schools, it won't help if your child is applying to very competitive schools. What to do? As soon as you discover that she has a problem with a core subject like mathematics or reading, do something about it. Tailor the solution to the situation. If a little extra help at her present school is all that is necessary, then go that route. If more drastic measures are required, then hire a tutor. We did that one summer, and it made all the difference in our daughter's comfort level with mathematics.

Children learn in different ways. So, be sure to observe how your child is being taught. That will guide you on what solution to seek. It's very important not to make your child feel like she is being punished or that she is a failure. Instead, you need to explain that core subjects are taught over many years. She needs to understand each level thoroughly before she advances to the next. Core subjects are the foundation on which all her subsequent

It's a big step sending your darling off to private school. She will probably survive the transition just fine. But how about you? Will you be able to restrain yourself and avoid being an over-protective parent? Are you going to hover nearby like a helicopter? Let's look at how to make that huge adjustment to not having our little darling at home where we knew where she was and what she was up to. Here is how to cope with private school at four distinct grade levels. Here is your private school survival guide.

Preschool

When you send your baby off to preschool or nursery school, you will go through all kinds of angst. Being concerned is particularly true when your first or only child leaves the nest. However, you can offset much of your anxiety by selecting your preschool or nursery school carefully. The best schools will always be hard to get into. Places at popular schools will be limited. But once the school has accepted her, then determine how you can be helpful without getting in the way. Most schools will welcome your assistance with everything from class activities to fundraising. Don't wait to be asked. Don't be shy about telling the school that you have experience working in development or marketing or whatever field you offer. Stay involved as a team player rather than as the leader which you are probably accustomed to being. The school will appreciate that display of modesty.

This video