High School

Life deals us some tough hands to play from time to time. Certainly, this can be true while your child is at private school. Certain questions always seem to present themselves unexpectedly at the worst possible time. But life is like that, isn't it? The old, comfortable, and very predictable playbook which you and I used to follow thirty or forty years ago has gone by the boards. Here then, are some answers and some resources to help you deal with these tough questions and situations.

My kid has been expelled?

Being notified that your child has been expelled is serious. The timing will inevitably be very awkward. You literally will have to stop whatever you are doing and deal with this crisis. For a crisis, this event most assuredly is. The mere fact that your child broke the rules and did something which warranted his expulsion means that you need to get to the bottom of the situation. Why did he do this? Counseling will probably be required. Both for him and for you. What legal recourse do you have? Probably not much. After all, the contract which you and the school signed spells out the consequences for infractions of the code of conduct which guides students' lives at school.

Finding a new school won't be easy, but it is doable if you hire an educational consultant to make it happen. If you do it on your own, you will spend countless hours calling and explaining

I can just hear you thinking "He's got to be kidding. After spending inordinate amounts of my valuable time and resources getting my child into private school, the school can decide it doesn't want her back next year?"

Yes, the school can do that. Sad. But true. Read the contract which you signed with the school when your daughter was first accepted. It very clearly spells out the rights each party to the contract has. One of those clauses states that the school does not have to renew its contract with you automatically. Most contracts have finite terms which are normally for one academic year.

How do you avoid the school sending a non-renewal notice? You make sure that the following are in order:

1. Acceptable academic progress

While it would be nice if your child could be first in every subject she takes, that is asking a bit too much. But you definitely want to keep her in the top third. If the school recommends extra help or even tutoring, don't fight that recommendation. Calculus may have been a breeze for you. But if she is struggling with it, be ahead of the curve. Accept the help offered.

This video offers a look at Academy Hill School in Springfield, Massachusetts.

All they really want is to see are her best efforts and maximum cooperation in achieving good results. There's a larger lesson that

Most private schools have an Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) in place governing the use of technology. That means that students in private schools must follow their school's guidelines and directives when using personal technology. Personal technology includes laptops, desktop computers, tablets, and smartphones. What perplexes many mature teachers is that none of these devices were commonly used years ago. The reality is that young people have some or all of these devices and use them naturally, freely, and without much thought. Using technology is second nature to students these days.

As a rule, there are limits on these devices and their use in private schools. Let's look at five things you are not supposed to do with personal technology. Breaking the rules in your school could land you in a heap of trouble, including expulsion. Review her school's personal technology use policy if you are a parent. Then discuss the policy with your child. Help her understand the rules, the limits, and why the school has a technology policy. Remind her further that she has no rights in a private school. So if the school disciplines her for an infraction, there is little or no recourse. That is because private school students are covered by contract law. The rights and privileges are spelled out in the contract you signed with the school. She does not have constitutional rights per se. The contract is a legal, binding document.

Here are five things you must not do

Most parents expect to see a progress report with grades on it. The standard letter grades tell where your child stands at a glance, or at least, that's what we have been led to believe. More important than the grades are your child's teacher's comments and the discussions you have concerning your child's progress. This is particularly important in the primary grades when learning difficulties surface. For example, our youngest daughter began struggling with math in 4th grade. We monitored her progress closely and did our best to help. Finally, it was obvious to us that some tutoring would be helpful. We arranged several months of math tutoring, which developed our daughter's confidence in understanding math concepts. Put another way, a grade is simply an indicator. Always look beneath the surface to determine what the real issue is.

Standardized grades. Common grading schemes.

Most schools use letter grades these days. But not every school uses the same letter grade scheme. This can cause problems when sending your child's transcripts to college admissions offices. For example, the A at one school may not be equivalent to the A at another school.

The most common grade scheme is the following:

A+ 97-100
A 93-96
A- 90-92
B+ 87-89
B 83-86
B- 80-82
C+ 77-79
C 73-76
C- 70-72
D+ 67-69
D 63-66
D- 60-62
F

Every year there are reports of private school students taking their own lives. Suicide casts a terrible pall over any school community. It just seems so pointless, so senseless. Yet, had members of the community acted on the signals the young person was most likely sending, that suicide could have been prevented.

The academic work in private school can be very heavy. The pressures to succeed, to get into the best college, to not let parents and others down combined with the reality of adolescent uncertainities can create a climate for depression. Depression can lead to suicide. But suicide is preventable.

Suicide is preventable.

Suicide is the 3rd largest killer of young adults between the ages of 15-24. But teen suicide is preventable. You just have to know the warning signs. The following information from Kids Health tells you what to look for.

"Suicide among teens often happens after a stressful life event, such as problems at school, a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a major family conflict.

Teens who are thinking about suicide might:

• talk about suicide or death in general
• give hints that they might not be around anymore
• talk about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
• pull away from friends or family
• write songs, poems, or letters about death, separation, and loss
• start giving away treasured possessions to siblings or friends
• lose the desire to take part in favorite things or activities
• have trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
• experience changes in eating