Accepted, Waitlisted,Rejected

Editor's note: In the following conversation, the parent is fictitious but her questions and my answers are real.

Parent: I am thinking about sending my teenage daughter to a private school for grades 9-12. How do I find the best school for her?

Rob K: Let me answer your question with another question. I know that I sound like an attorney by doing this, but I need to understand why you are thinking about sending your daughter to private school. Once you have told me your reasons, I will explain how to accomplish your goal.

Parent: My daughter's current school is OK. It's a public school which sends a large percentage of its graduates on to further education. So, that's OK. She's been with some of her classmates since kindergarten. Now I feel that she should be with other students who really want to learn. I also want her to be in smaller classes. She's one of 25 students right now. The other thing which concerns me is that the high school curriculum seems a bit thin, and is mostly focused on SATs and AP examination preparation.

Rob K: Now, you are giving me something to work with. Small class sizes are one of the main reasons most parents decide to send their children to private school. Most schools have 12-15 students per class. Your child will not just be a number in a small class. She will know everybody and everybody will know her. She will not

Before you spend $5,000, $15,000, $25,000 or more annually for your child's education in a private school, do your own due diligence. Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines due diligence as "research and analysis of a company or organization done in preparation for a business transaction." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/due%20diligence In a normal business transaction such as buying a house, you would probably concern yourself with the title search and a house inspection in the first instance. When evaluating private schools for your child, your due diligence will focus on the fit. You want to find the private school which offers the best fit for your needs and requirements. You want to identify a school at which your child will be happy. The due diligence steps which you take in a business transaction inspect and review tangibles. Due diligence for parents evaluating private schools includes tangibles such as the academics, sports, and extracurriculars as well as that all-important intangible which is how the school fits in with your requirements.

Avoid common mistakes.

When you visit schools, please don't make the following common mistakes:

• Being late
• Being dressed inappropriately
• Being unprepared
• Being over-prepared
• Being rude and disinterested

A little thought and preparation will help you make the best impression possible.

Visit schools.

Visiting schools is an essential part of evaluating the schools on your short list. There are several ways schools will arrange those visits.
This part of your due diligence can be great fun. You will set foot on the campus and explore the facilities of a

The independent school admissions process varies greatly from one school to another. There is, however, one critical requirement that is truly universal--the interview. Students who apply to an independent school for admission to grades 6-12 are required to meet with an admissions officer in a one-on-one or small group setting. You worry as a parent that your child simply can’t have the maturity or know-how to converse in the manner required with a strange adult who is lobbing questions at your child. Yes, this can be anxiety-producing for even the most savvy-minded parent. But, I’d like to help reframe your thinking on the admissions interview.

In this video a director of admissions explains how the interview process works.

A Window into Your Child's Personality

The interview offers an admissions committee a window into your child’s personality--his or her academic and extra-curricular interests, unique passions, and other skills that matter to your son or daughter. Keep in mind that the interview can be as short as 10 minutes for a younger child and up to 45 for the high school candidate. The interviewer is focused on evaluating your child’s academic potential and overall personality by engaging them in a guided conversation that centers on your child’s current school experience, particular strengths--academic, as well as, athletic, artistic, service, leadership, and other special interests.

It may help to think of the interview

As I have mentioned several times in other articles about choosing and evaluating private schools, you really must set foot on the campus in order to fully experience the school and what it offers. Visiting the private schools on your shortlist is really not optional.

Isn't it enough to visit schools virtually these days? Those professionally produced videos on the schools' websites are great. The students' YouTube videos reveal a bit of what life is like at their school. Right? Not exactly. These presentations are all professionally produced and edited marketing pieces designed to encourage you to learn more about their schools. After you do your in-depth reading of all the schools' materials, it's time for you to decide which schools to visit. You ideally will have 3 to 5 schools on your shortlist.

This video offers you a look at the Century Montessori School.

For example, let's say you had 8 schools that really appear to be a good match for your requirements and your child's needs. Then you should eliminate 2, preferably 3 schools from that larger list. This is especially important when you have selected schools located at a distance from where you live. Visiting 8 schools far away from home will be both time-consuming and expensive. Make that shortlist of 3 to 5 schools to actually visit.

The visits will take one of these forms:

Open Houses

Here is how an

The private school search process is complicated enough without making it more complicated. Use these five tips to keep you focused and on track. Most of these suggestions are common sense and you are probably following them anyway. But take time to review them well in advance of visiting schools and doing the actual applications. You will save valuable time.

1. Write a good essay.

"Essay?" " Write?" I can just imagine what you are thinking about how your child will do on this part of the application. However, why not do what you always do? Plan ahead. Download the Candidate Statement portion of the school's application. Print out a couple of copies. Then, starting in July or August or any other time which works best for you, have your child work the questions and think about the answers. That way, when it comes time in December and January to complete those important parts of the application, she will be able to write confidently, clearly and concisely.

This brief video will explain how to write an essay in terms she will understand.

"But her spelling is atrocious. She texts all the time and doesn't spell or capitalize according to the rules." These days that is a very real concern that you should have. And it's another reason why she needs to do a couple of dry runs before the real thing. While I don't suggest that you